thanks to groupon i got a free bottle of garcinia cambogia
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MY LITTLE SHITS
APPARENTLY NOBODY’S HEARD OF PROPER FUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICHES SO I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU FUCKS HOW TO MAKE ONE
FIRST STRUT YOUR FINE ASS OVER TO YOUR FREEZY BOX AND GRAB YOURSELF SOME OF THAT SWEET WOMAN OF JESUS AUNT JEMIMA’S WAFFLES AND YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM. IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM THAN JUST GRAB WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GOT IN THERE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DAMN ICE CREAM THEN SHIT MAN YOU’RE OUT OF LUCK.
IF YOU’RE NOT A WHINY PANSY AND YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE BEING A HARDCORE MOTHER FUCKER THEN TOSS IN SOME OTHER SHIT YOU LIKE
BUT FOR RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO FOCUS ON ALL YOU PANSIES WHO WANT YOUR ICE CREAM UNTAINTED BY OTHER SUCCULENT TOPPINGS
RIP INTO THAT BOX OF SWEET AUNTIE’S WAFFLES AND FIRMLY GRASP TWO
NO MORE THAN TWO
JUST DON’T DO IT
YOU ARE NOT YET READY FOR THE COLOSSAL CREAM CLUB SUB
ONCE YOU HAVE THOSE TWO LITTLE SHITS IN YOUR HAND THROW THEM ACROSS THE ROOM SO THAT THEY LAND PERFECTLY IN YOUR TOASTER
IF YOUR AIM SUCKS ASS JUST PUT THEM IN GENTLY WHILE TRASH TALKING YOUR TOASTER BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HARDCORE
WHILE YOU’RE WAITING FOR YOUR WAFFLES TO BE AS TOASTY AS YOUR CHOICE ASS RUN OUTSIDE AND SMASH A CAR OR SOMETHING
BY THE TIME YOU WASH THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE SYRUP DISKS SHOULD BE READY FOR ACTION
TOSS THOSE FUCKERS ON A PLATE AND PILE THE CREAMY GOODNESS ON ONE OF THEM
COVER UP THAT SHIT WITH YOUR OTHER WAFFLE AND WHIP OUT THAT BUTTERFLY BLADE YOU KEEP ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE THE THUG LIFE CHOSE YOU
STAB THE BASTARD REPEATEDLY UNTIL IT’S PERFECTLY SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER
NOW FOR YOU SICK FUCKS THAT THINK YOU CAN HANDLE MORE TOPPINGS YOU’RE GOING TO DO THE SAME SHIT THAT I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU TO DO BUT BEFORE YOU PILE ON YOUR ICE CREAM YOU WANT TO LATHER YOUR PEANUT BUTTER/ CHOCOLATE SYRUP/ WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND ONTO THE WAFFLE
THEN DUMP OTHER TASTY SHIT ON THERE AS YOU SEE FIT
YOU GET TO FIGURE OUT THAT PART I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS LITTLE SHITLET
AND AFTER THAT JUST GO BACK UP AND READ THE PANSY INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE THEY’RE THE SAME THING FROM HERE OUT
CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST MADE A MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICH AND YOUR PRIZE IS YOU GET TO GO DEVOUR IT LIKE IT’S THE BEST THING YOU’VE TASTED SINCE YOUR MOTHER’S BREAST MILK BECAUSE IT DAMN SURE IS
I love people who can speak my language in recipes
I am laughing so hard inside i cant even express it in some overused lmfao or lol. HAHAHAHAHAH
(via modelmis-behavior)Source: kickasskanaya
Check it… this is the email I got, if your interested, see link at bottom.
Dear OnlineBeta Member,
It is very possible that you have seen this message before; however, we are still looking for participants to help us with this particular project. If you are not interested, but know someone who may be, please feel free to share this information.
Saturday, 7:30am. It’s been a long week for you and your family, and it’s not over yet. You get up and hit the ground running, mentally fitting in little league practice, a ballet lesson, and - oh no! – the Boy Scouts’ camping trip that you completely forgot about until just now.
Managing your children’s schedules is a major endeavor, complete with goals, meetings, and strict deadlines. Wouldn’t it be great if your kids could manage their responsibilities, obligations, and time on their own? Imagine a program that empowers you to teach your kids time and task management skills and enables them to be more self-sufficient. A real-world time and task management tool that can help your kids organize themselves and powerful parenting strategies to support you - all in one unique program.
Centercode is looking for parents to beta test a new online interactive parenting tool designed to help you teach your children about managing their chores and obligations in a responsible manner. Sign up now and you can help not just your own child, but parents and children everywhere by providing your valuable feedback and suggestions for this parenting tool.
Please remember that a commitment of time and effort is necessary to provide high-quality feedback and thorough completion of any requested tasks. This project also requires participants to be US residents and mothers or female guardians, preferably employed as time management professionals, with children between the ages of 6 and 12 years old. Participants should have access to a Windows or Mac running the latest version of Chrome, Internet Explorer, or Firefox, with broadband internet connection. Click the link below to learn more about this project.
Please click the following link to apply for this test: https://www.onlinebeta.com/r/?2D7EDBECADA048B89E55402024BE4ECF
Fathers Day is fast approaching. Buy one for your dad, and one for your father in law, or husband, or even yourself if you want. Check it out.
Offer: Buy one iPhone 5 UN Colors™ case and get an iPhone 4/4S or iPhone 5 Black Bezel Deflector for FREE! A $34.95 value!